I have never been into blogging. Never had the courage to let other people see my feelings/thoughts/hopes and dreams. It wasn't until I read a blog called www.rockstarronan.com that I realized that maybe my words can be there to help someone. Even if it is just one person to heal at a time of need, than I have made a purpose in this world. I also didn't keep a record of the past 5 years of my life. I have been in Tucson, with the same guy and sure we have pictures, but I didn't write down thoughts/memories or any of the in betweens. Now that he has left me, I am thinking it is probably a good thing I don't have too much written down for memory. It will be much easier to forget this chapter. Every chapter in our life teaches us. I think that this chapter has taught me to put God first in everything, and make sure I am secure in every decision I make. There were times over the last 5 years that I wanted to do something and I wouldn't. Things as simple as getting a manicure or going and getting my hair done, were hard for me.And I didn't, I didn't because I was afraid my husband wouldn't like the hair color or he said we didn't have the money. I wasn't living for me every day. I was living for my husband. In theory, I guess its good to live for someone else, but not if you aren't truly happy on the inside.
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